11th September, 2011
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.""
The last few days have been up and down. I haven't felt good health wise and a few other things that have factored into my eating not being that great. Better than it normally would be but not great.
I feel different though. I can't put a finger on it but I still feel positive about things and my future relationship with food, even though I haven't been that successful for a few days. I know it's not going to change at the click of my fingers or even in weeks or months. It's going to take time and I know it's possible that I can beat it.
Doing my food habits the past few days, there was no enjoyment at all. It was all just me going through the motions of doing it, just because that's what I'm used too. I think this is a good thing because I thought that once I gave it up, the pull of the 'excitement' would make me miss it, but it's not as strong as I thought. It is in some respects but i'm looking at myself while doing it and it's not fun, really. Before there was more of a 'buzz'
I think all these little steps will come together and hopefully I can make a proper breakthrough for a longer time. I expected that I would find it difficult after a few days and I did, but I can do it. Those 5 days proved i'm strong enough.
I'm not going to be too hard on myself if I make a mistake. Like I said it will take time, along time. But that's ok and i'll take it a day at a time.
